The Water Pistols

The Water Pistols were a rock band whose one novelty record released in 1976 spoofs the then-current punk rock movement. It has sometimes been claimed that the singer was actually British comedian Charlie Drake, but this appears to be due to confusion with his record Super Punk (also 1976).

Both songs on the record are based on the satirical notion that all punk bands are talentless and juvenile.

The A side, "Gimme That Punk Junk" is loosely based on "I'm a Loser" by The Beatles. It begins, "I can handle the blues, the reggae and funk...I'm totally bewildered by this rotten punk junk". It also includes the lyrics: "I'm a boozer/I'm a cruiser/Anarchist/Anarchist/An' I kissed/A couple of local girls", and "I've learnt two chords an' I sing out of tune/If punk rock lasts I will make a fortune".

The B side, "Soft Punk", begins: "One...two...cut your head off!" and contains frequent references to the punk singer Dick Capitate's desire to do so. The song ends with a spoofnews report confirming that he has cut off his head at the Rutland Open Air Punk Festival, in front of an audience of lemmings and his immediate relatives.